Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Tips on how to win friendship of your step-children & In-laws
nullnullnullBefore I met my husband, I had been through a very hard life. I never thought that I would find somebody who will love me as I am. A man who will respect me and will listen to me and will cry with me. A man whom I can lean in times of my trouble.
My past life had taught me a hard lesson never to trust a man again. But guess what? Just a click in the internet and my life was changed forever. I was not even thinking seriously of marrying again let alone a foreigner. Besides, I thought of myself as very plain. That is the reason may be why I failed in my past marriage. It was not even a real marriage because, it was a bigamous marriage. So, I was very skeptical about men.
Here comes a friendly hello from a guy, who has a very beautiful nose. Well, at least, in my eyes my husband's nose is very beautiful. That reminds me of a famous saying "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder." You can also say that it is because my nose is not as beautiful as my husband's nose. That is typical anyway of my being a Filipino with the exceptions of those mixed blood.
But that is not what I am trying to say why I wrote this blog. The reason is I want to give some tips to stepmothers like me.
My husband has 2 children in his first marriagenull, a daughter and a son. Even during the early days of our marriage, I was worried that my step-children might not accept me. But here is the wisdom that I am going to share with you:
*Adopt a positive attitude and trust God to give you love and understanding toward the possibility of being rejected, just in case.
* Think and consider your step-children as your own. I know it is difficult but if you remember the famous saying "Love begets love,” it always works you know. I have a testimony to that.
*Give due respect. That is the golden rule anyway. Do unto others what you want others do unto you.
* Don't be selfish or mean, be genuine and true to yourself. It is not good to pretend to be nice, when you are not. It will not help you. It will only create friction and mistrust.
*Give love without expecting any return and God will bless you more a hundredfold.
*Don't be jealous. It is a poison to a good relationship.
*Don't push yourself. Let them know you as who you are. Be a good listener. Be a good friend.
*Don't be impatient either. If you have shown a genuine attitude towards your step-children according to the virtue of a good mother even if they are not your blood and your own... that kindness and congeniality will merit respect and friendship.
Your situation might be different from mine, but the bible says in Romans 5:4 "And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation."
It always pays to have a loving and truthful heart that only comes from the Lord. It will open doors of healthy relationships in marriage and in our family circle, even in the outside world.
My daughter-in-law was a testimony of that relationship. She is more than a real daughter to me. My step-daughter too, though we seldom see and talk with each other because of our distance, but we are like old friends. At least that is how I feel. So with my step-son too, he respected me and treated me as a real family. They both respected me. Generally speaking, they are really good and nice kids. Thanks to their parents of whom I am one of the recipient of that love and kindness.
I am proud of my step-children. I thank God for them. They are one of my wonderful blessings being the seed of the man I love unconditionally.
I just thought of sharing that experience to step-mothers who are trying to get along with their step-children and even their in-laws.
Some people might say, nothing could come in a broken family--- but the truth is, it is how we accept things and try to live in it with complete trust in God. The word of God in the bible says, "Without me, you can do nothing." (John 15:5)
My past life had taught me a hard lesson never to trust a man again. But guess what? Just a click in the internet and my life was changed forever. I was not even thinking seriously of marrying again let alone a foreigner. Besides, I thought of myself as very plain. That is the reason may be why I failed in my past marriage. It was not even a real marriage because, it was a bigamous marriage. So, I was very skeptical about men.
Here comes a friendly hello from a guy, who has a very beautiful nose. Well, at least, in my eyes my husband's nose is very beautiful. That reminds me of a famous saying "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder." You can also say that it is because my nose is not as beautiful as my husband's nose. That is typical anyway of my being a Filipino with the exceptions of those mixed blood.
But that is not what I am trying to say why I wrote this blog. The reason is I want to give some tips to stepmothers like me.
My husband has 2 children in his first marriagenull, a daughter and a son. Even during the early days of our marriage, I was worried that my step-children might not accept me. But here is the wisdom that I am going to share with you:
*Adopt a positive attitude and trust God to give you love and understanding toward the possibility of being rejected, just in case.
* Think and consider your step-children as your own. I know it is difficult but if you remember the famous saying "Love begets love,” it always works you know. I have a testimony to that.
*Give due respect. That is the golden rule anyway. Do unto others what you want others do unto you.
* Don't be selfish or mean, be genuine and true to yourself. It is not good to pretend to be nice, when you are not. It will not help you. It will only create friction and mistrust.
*Give love without expecting any return and God will bless you more a hundredfold.
*Don't be jealous. It is a poison to a good relationship.
*Don't push yourself. Let them know you as who you are. Be a good listener. Be a good friend.
*Don't be impatient either. If you have shown a genuine attitude towards your step-children according to the virtue of a good mother even if they are not your blood and your own... that kindness and congeniality will merit respect and friendship.
Your situation might be different from mine, but the bible says in Romans 5:4 "And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation."
It always pays to have a loving and truthful heart that only comes from the Lord. It will open doors of healthy relationships in marriage and in our family circle, even in the outside world.
My daughter-in-law was a testimony of that relationship. She is more than a real daughter to me. My step-daughter too, though we seldom see and talk with each other because of our distance, but we are like old friends. At least that is how I feel. So with my step-son too, he respected me and treated me as a real family. They both respected me. Generally speaking, they are really good and nice kids. Thanks to their parents of whom I am one of the recipient of that love and kindness.
I am proud of my step-children. I thank God for them. They are one of my wonderful blessings being the seed of the man I love unconditionally.
I just thought of sharing that experience to step-mothers who are trying to get along with their step-children and even their in-laws.
Some people might say, nothing could come in a broken family--- but the truth is, it is how we accept things and try to live in it with complete trust in God. The word of God in the bible says, "Without me, you can do nothing." (John 15:5)
Sacrifice of the Heart
My heart is full joy and the peace of the Lord God for He is great and greatly to be praise!
I will sing the psalms of praises to give glory and honor to my beautiful God.
"I will offer sacrifices of joy in His tabernacle; I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the Lord."(Psalm 27:6 NKJV)
My heart will not stop singing a new song to you O Lord God, Abba Father for you are the God who created me for a purpose. Like King David in his psalm "I will fulfill my vows to you O God, and I will offer a sacrifice of thanks for Your help. For uou have kept my feet from slipping. So now I can walk in Your presence, O God, in Your life-giving light."(Psalm 56:12-13 NLT)
Let the words that come from my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to you O God so that even in my prayer your Holy Spirit will lead me to your way and will bring me into your presence where there is complete peace.
"O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare Your praise. You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; You do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God. You will not despise." (Psalm 51:15-17 NIV)
Wreck me O Lord God, that I may have a pure heart. For that is the cry of heart that I may give you a real sacrifice, where your name will be lifted up. That I may live upon your grace O God, in in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ who died for our sins.
To you be the glory forever Amen!
I will sing the psalms of praises to give glory and honor to my beautiful God.
"I will offer sacrifices of joy in His tabernacle; I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the Lord."(Psalm 27:6 NKJV)
My heart will not stop singing a new song to you O Lord God, Abba Father for you are the God who created me for a purpose. Like King David in his psalm "I will fulfill my vows to you O God, and I will offer a sacrifice of thanks for Your help. For uou have kept my feet from slipping. So now I can walk in Your presence, O God, in Your life-giving light."(Psalm 56:12-13 NLT)
Let the words that come from my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to you O God so that even in my prayer your Holy Spirit will lead me to your way and will bring me into your presence where there is complete peace.
"O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare Your praise. You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; You do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God. You will not despise." (Psalm 51:15-17 NIV)
Wreck me O Lord God, that I may have a pure heart. For that is the cry of heart that I may give you a real sacrifice, where your name will be lifted up. That I may live upon your grace O God, in in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ who died for our sins.
To you be the glory forever Amen!
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